What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 14:20

What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Novel coating shields iron from rust with 99.6% efficiency - Phys.org

I never cut or harmed myself..

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

But ive been too sick for many years..

Dozens of Israeli children develop malignant tumors from sperm donor - The Jerusalem Post

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

Has your wife made you a cuckold?

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

Nintendo Switch 2 races to record sales, driven by Mario Kart World's blockbuster debut - ABC News

So whats the point in blame.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

Scientists uncover key role of thyroid hormones in fear memory formation - PsyPost

Put me off passion for life!!

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

He was dying to do it , i knew.

Doloremque harum est natus ipsum quasi at atque quam.

I couldn’t, believe it.

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

Epidemiological update: SARS-CoV-2 and NB.1.8.1 variant assessment - European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control

I know ,a lot about trauma.

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

Did you use the internet during the DOS era? Can you describe your experience? How were images displayed on the black screen when everything was just text-based commands?

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Young Sheldon’s Montana Jordan Is Newly Married — See Wedding Photos Featuring Georgie & Mandy Cast - TVLine

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

China's electric cars are cheaper, but is there a deeper cost? - BBC

My mum and dad in the seventies!

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

I write beautiful poetry .

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

Comes on , in middle age.

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

Im still living with it.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

She married twice! .

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

All the time i was locked up.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

One cannot live in the past .

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

I did it because my mum asked me too!

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

We all went to grammer schools

This is soul school!.

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

My family never makes their pension either.

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

I was seconnd youngest,

She was in good health!

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

Would this be the day?

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

Especially a lifetime of it.

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

She wouldn,t have been !

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

This is how, and why children get BPD.

I could never make a relationship work though!

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

He knew the spot.

She loved him until the end.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

And i lived it daily.

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

I was 9 years of age.

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

But, we were locked up after school.

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

Why did i forgive my father ?

Im dying but, im not bitter.

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

As i do to all so called friends.?

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

Where the ultimate outsiders.

We were not on the streets..

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

I waited trembling.

What did i know ?

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

(And it was in our own minds.)

When she asked me how she looked .

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

On the 31st of Jan this month .

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

And who doesn’t know suffering?

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

I was scared of men, in general

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

She found it foreign!.

My life is so biszare .

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

He resisted the act ,that day.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

I will be 64.

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

I have no regrets .

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

So, i spoilt her more .

I had hoped to write a book about this .

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

They are buried together, in the same grave..

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

I was very sick at this time too.

Was to survive, this bastard.

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

But it wasn’t much.

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

I don,t even have a pension.

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

It was going to be , some day.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

I said to her

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

I think the readers, may guess!

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

Ive learnt so much.

Who then, do I blame.?